Trying to stay positive

I've been thinking about the whole graduating thing lately, and I keep asking myself  'why am I so bothered by graduating a little late?'

I know that I WILL graduate, move out and find a job in the future, and with each passing day I move a little closer to those goals. I need to take a look at my life. My parents support my every move and take care of me. They don't treat me like a child, but they do help with the bills. I pay for as much stuff as I can and rarely ask them for cash. Speaking of cash, my Michigan Education Trust fund is almost out. Bye bye tuition. I cried over this because I hate the thought of my dad having to pay thousands of dollars for my schooling. He told me, with a smile on his, not to worry about it, and he's proud of me for going school. I think I will skip summer 1 classes and do summer 2 for sure, which means I will push back my graduation to May 2011. I'm doing this so my dad can save money for my tuition. I know it's only a couple months, but he said it would help. I don't enjoy summer classes that much anyway.... I guess I should wait until the summer schedule is posted before I make a solid decision. But I'm going to stop being so disappointed in myself over this. Things happen. I have it in the back of mind that something great is waiting for me in the future and it's not going anywhere without me.

OH! My brother, Mike, and I might be graduating around the same time! Crazy grad party anyone??

Winter Blues

I hope for warmth, wish for the sun and dream for an everlasting summer.

Movin' on up!

So I'm not really movin' on up to anything. I was just day dreaming and talking with Eric about moving out of my house and into his. However, this won't happen until I'm good and ready. Meaning, not until I've graduated will I be ready to move out. Also, my dad wants Eric "to make an honest woman of me." He wants Eric and I to be engaged before we live together. I'm not really ready for that either. Enough of that, here's a list of things I will do when I do move out:

Buy a Boston Terrier and name it Buffy
Buy a new bed (a BIG bed)
Host awesome parties
Host dinner dates with friends
Learn recipes for the crock pot
Design my own living space
NO CLUTTER

That's all I've got so far.

Grade School Outcast

It's sad these things still bother me.

I went to a Catholic K-8 school. The class sizes were small with about 40 in my graduating 8th grade class. Everybody knew everybody. I could probably still name everyone in my class. I don't really speak to them, except for Michele. I was supposed to be in her wedding, but she canceled it after everyone bought the 140 dollar bridesmaid dresses and gifts for the bridal shower. I am friends with just about all the other students online, minus those who do not have a  Facebook. Occasionally I will seek out their profiles to see what everyone is up to, but the unhappy memories of being a pudgy, frizzy haired, brace face flood back into my brain. Catholics love to judge, even the young ones.
When you reach 7th grade at St. Robert's the school splits the students up based on how well they do on a math test. Since I've never been good at math I was put into 7-2s and 8-2s. Which made me feel stupid. The smart boys and girls looked at us differently. You could tell they felt smarter. The teachers favored those students who made great grades and whose parents actively participated in everything at school. My parents are on the older side and never really helped out much at the school.
I partially blame my parents for not fitting in as much as I could have. They never really pushed me to join any sports. I think parents should put their children in sports to see if they like it. If they don't then drop it.  I was in girl scouts, but even then I felt awkward and out of place. I should have happy memories of scouts but the one that stick out the most is a little sad. We had to sell cookies, lots and lots of cookies. Most parents sold the cookies for their daughters by taking the order forms to work. Not my parents. I usually sold under ten boxes. One mother came up to me, mind you I was like 8 or 9, and scorned me for not selling to other people outside my family. This woman was truly disappointed in my lack of sales for a 9 year old. Why would a woman do that to a kid that's not even related to her? It's great that she was able to sell 100 boxes of thin mints so her daughter could win a two dollar plastic toy.
The kids were just as bad as the parents. In whatever grade it is us Catholics get confirmed we HAD to participate in a 2 day retreat at some giant church that had bowling lanes in the basement! Of course I only remember the bowling lanes because that's the only place I had fun. I also remember spending about an hour or so in a tiny warm room with sky blue walls, vomit green carpet and no windows staring at a floor to ceiling crucified Jesus. I believe kids started to cry. Whether they were overcome with emotion or they just wanted to leave I do not know. One night, all of use got to hang around and not talk about religion. I was sitting with some 'popular' girls, my best friend was not catholic so she did not attend this eye-opening experience, and one of the 'popular' boys came over. He wrapped his arms around the girl I was chatting with and said "she's my friend. I like her more than I like you. You're not my friend." A little harsh right? I didn't know what to do so I sat there while he went on and on about his love for this girl and dislike for me. What a jackass. A jackass who is my friend on Facebook.
I was so happy to leave that school behind me, but the memories are still front and center.

11 more to go....

After this semester I will have a mere 11 classes to take, at least I hope. According to all the papers I have I only need 11 more required classes in order to graduate with an English degree. I will be taking another 4 classes next semester which brings my total down to 7. If I want, I can choose to double the pressure and take 5 classes next semester and possibly finish over the summer. I would have to take summer I and II classes, 3 classes each half. That is considered full time during the summer. That would suck. However, I don't know what classes will be offered over the summer or next fall yet, so I'm not sure what to do. I hope they offer French I and II during the summer, or I will have to go next fall and winter. I'm so sick of school right now. Mainly one teacher who is a large bag of douche with an arrogant attitude. He likes to give a self-fulling speech each class.

Sometimes I wish I did my own thing right from the beginning of college. I've loved Enlgish since grade school, but was told there are no jobs for English majors unless you're a teacher. I don't believe that and neither do my advisors. Joining the teaching program screwed me over. I took classes I don't need and lost my love for school. I used to love going to school! I was such a nerd...I guess I still am. I am happier in the CASL program but unhappy about how long it's taking me to finish. I want to be done and move on with life. I want to find a career, pay my credit card bills, and buy a house. I guess that will all happen just not as soon as I want it to.

I like this feeling

It's odd how much one random song can inspire so much in a person. I love music, but I don't feel it's my life like others do. I like a variety of types of music, mostly pop dance music that's so popular right now. Once in awhile I will hear a song and feel the sudden urge to write something. I will listen to the song over and over as the story slowly develops in my mind. It's like I'm writing something for that song, like how writers will create a character for a certain actress. Eventually I begin writing notes about it everywhere, on napkins, notebook covers or my hands. I always run the idea by Eric to see what he thinks. He always tells me it sounds like a great story idea, even when I can barely explain it. Then, if I have no homework, I begin to write it.
Eric and I recently downloaded Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads. It's from the 60s or 70s and is a great song. We originally heard it in an episode of The Simpsons. That song made me want to write a short about a woman fighter out to find her sister who is recovering from amnesia, but it's not all kittens and kisses. I love movies where women are strong, beautiful and can kick ass. Like in Kill Bill or Death Proof; both are Tarantino flicks. So, I started to write and hopefully we can film it one day. Also, being in a film class really helps.

Rosie red cheeks.

I'm a little embarrassed about the things I do while drinking. I'm not some alcoholic who drinks to get drunk everyday. I don't plan on that ever happening. However, when I  do down an entire pint of Ketel One mixed with sugar free Red Bull, plus this amazing alcohol infused whip cream, my memories become fuzzy.
Brenda's 30th birthday celebration was this past Saturday and it was a blast! We partied late into the night. I drank myself silly, but successfully made it through the night without feeling sick. No hangover either! I was feelin' fine the whole night. Keep in mind, I barely ever blackout. It's not like a goal of mine to drink so much I can't remember where that puppy came from the next morning. Anyway, I guess there was some hugging of people who are not exactly comfortable with touching others.Oops! I remember pretending to hug this person, but never really wrapping my arms around them. Eric distinctly remembers me full-on hugging this person. I do not, nor do I want to believe I did. So embarrassing! That's the only part of the night I cannot fully remember.
I plan on having another vodka filled night this coming Friday for Brenda's actual birthday. I can't say I won't black out again, but will hopefully be able to control myself better. If the worst thing I do is give out free hugs, why not continue having a great time? I'm young, do my school work and I do not drink and drive.

Party! Party! Party!!

My sister-in-law's birthday is comin' up! Saturday October 9th we will be celebrating her 30th birthday. I'm excited to have family party to go to this weekend. I will be making a giant pan of my famous baked mac 'n cheese!
This summer, I learned how awesome yet difficult parties can be to put together. My brother Mike and I decided to throw a pool party at our house. I also thought I would make a great hostess, but didn't realize the stress that came along with it. We sent out facebook invites and only received a few replies which terrified me that the party would be lame. The Hendricks family could never live down having a lame party. My parents threw some of the best birthday bashes and 4th of July parties, we could not let them down!
I decided to cook EVERYTHING, which means I bought all the food. That added on a lot of stress. I never made pulled pork, but decided it was a great idea to have at the party. Luckily, I just put it in the crock pot and cooked it for over 6 hours. It came out tender and delicious! For a late night snack, we grilled some hot dogs! People gave great praise to the cook.
We got the food right, but what about the fun?? The pool made the 'fun' aspect easy, along with alcohol and beer pong and flip cup. The music was also an issue. Mike and I have extremely different taste in music. I tend to go for the more poppy dance music while Mike likes the singers who scream lyrics about butterflies and falling stars. Eric helped with that by unplugging the ipods and putting on the radio. Everyone was so drunk they didn't even notice. My friend and I had a little 2 person dance party!
Overall the party went smoothly and everyone had a blast. I hope to be the host of more parties in the future; by future I mean next summer.

I can do better.

I was recently reading over my old blogs and noticed how poorly I write. I am an English major and that should be portrayed in my writing. However, when I write these blogs I don't really care about grammar, comma splices or witty comments. And my transitions are wretched!!
Now that I'm back in school, I have to improve my writing skills! I've already written a few papers for classes, and I must say they are lovely. Seeing that I can actually form fluid sentences with vivid descriptions and coherent ideas makes me want to write better blogs. Once I have something better to blog about, I promise it will be well-written and interesting.

So my next blog will be amazingly fantastic with detailed descriptions, no over usage of commas and plenty of clever phrases that will make you smile with glee and never wince in pain over those long ass run-on sentences that everybody hates especially English majors and their professors.

P.S. I hate reading over things I write.

I don't normally do this....

but stuff happens, mixed with being in school which seems to make me feel more creative. I might make this longer for a possible assignment.

One body,
Too many faces.
Which should I see?
Who do I believe?
Faces of lying happiness,
of sadness,
of warmth,
of love.
Which should I see?
Who do I believe?
Faces of true anger,
of hate
of frustration
of malice.
Now I see.
Now I believe.

Not bad

First day of school was today and it went surprising well. I only had one class and it started at 1:05! I decided to arrive at school an hour early due to the nightmare parking situation. I lucked out and found a spot within ten minutes of being there! I've had the teacher before and she remembered me from two years ago. Nice. However, the class is an introduction to English and I've taken 400 level English classes already, so I was a little embarrassed, but another girl was in the same boat.
Tomorrow is a full day of classes starting at 9:55 and ending at 2:20. I have about 20 minutes between the classes, luckily they are all in the same building.
I'm hoping that I will love all my classes this semester. So far so good.

p.s. I forgot to buy folders! I got plenty of notebooks but no damn folders.

Starting something new.

I'm ready to start something new. I think I want to write a book. I have an idea that is actually somewhat confusing and hard to put on paper. I've ran it by Eric and he finds the concept interesting. I want to write something epic. Something for a younger crowd but not Twilight. I'm not sure I would even consider Twilight as epic anyway. I would consider Harry Potter or those Narnia books as epic. Stories about a whole other world where young kids are the heroes and for some reason animals can speak. Actually, I don't get the whole talking animal thing. Something touching and kids can relate to. Sounds difficult, but I might as well try to start writing  it and see where it leads me.

I'm not fishing.

The summer I turned 21 I was jogging everyday to get in shape for Vegas. Well, when Vegas vacation ended the jogging ended. I wasn't super thin or anything, just not flabby. Now, I'm feeling a little flabby. I by no means define myself as fat or overweight. I want to tone my arms and have a flatter stomach. I'm not looking for a 6 pack of abs and size 2 pants. I like food way too much to be a size 2. Oh, and drinking. I really enjoy a goodnight of drinking. That sounds a little bad. Monday's have become mine and Eric's new Friday. We go downtown and drink.....a lot. Since we usually only drink once a week, 2 days at most, I don't think that's bad. I also want to completely cut out soda, but I've tried several times in the past and always end up with a coke in my hand. Since work is so hot I drink much more water there which is where I drink most of my pop. So that's a plus.
When this surge of work out motivation ends I hope to look a little more toned. Actually, it would be better if it didn't end.

Shiz

I'm just sittin' here waiting for my mom to finish burning straightening her hair so I can shower. I'm all sweaty and gross with a slight scent of bacon because of work.
Nothing new is really going on......I submitted my script to Script P.I.M.P over a week ago. Everything went smoothly. I checked the status and it had a blue circle with a check mark inside. I met all the criteria so the script will be up for consideration. I plan on submitting it to the other contest by the end of this week. Well, I have to since the deadline is June 1st. I should know if I won anything in July. I won't get my hopes up.
I also received a document of registration from WGAW. It's kinda cool actually. It says I am the writer of The Jawbreaker Story. It looks like an award certificate. Eric wants to frame it.
I think that's all for now!
Peace and hair grease.

"insert clever title"

School is over but it started again. I earned an A in the class I hated, Foundations of American Education, A- in my journalism class, B in crazy visual culture and B- in math 386!!! So proud of the B in the math class. Doing my homework during work helped a lot.
My one summer class started on May 10th and it's the most boring class ever! The teacher just keeps talking and talking about nothing related to the book. I think he's a stoner. He kinda reminds me of an older version of Zack Galifinianakis' character from The Hangover. Mainly just his mannerisms.

After winter classes ended my family took a trip to Atlanta, Georgia for my cousin Ariel's grad party. It was a big deal because she's going to Brown in the fall. I honestly thought the trip would be horrible. My mother's side of the family tends to fight whenever we are all together. Everyone thinks they are right about everything. My brother and I usually take bets on who will have the biggest fight. This year we both lost. There was no fighting, well no fighting between us and the family we were visiting. My aunt and uncle screamed at each other around 2 am one night. I was asleep and their yelling woke me up. Other than that the trip was fantastic.

We arrived on Thursday night just in time for dinner. Friday, my cousin's took us to a mall about the size of Great Lakes Crossing where we shopped for a good while. I bought a new pair of skinny jeans at a store not yet in Michigan. Saturday was the graduation and party. We woke up early and arrived at Emory college where the ceremony took place. There were about 30 people in her class. She went to a school for gifted kids. Overall the class earned about 2.5 million dollars worth of scholarships. After that we rushed to my Aunt Lori's house for the party. Brenda and I made muffins then moved onto the Margarita machine to make some delicious beverages. Uncle Timmy, Uncle Randy and Jason did most of the cooking. They made ribs, fried chicken and crab legs. Aunt Lori made three large dishes of mac 'n cheese! The party lasted until midnight and we all got drunk. It was a great time. Sunday was our day to relax. Jason, Brenda and I hung around with Ariel and our other cousin Jessica. We went to an outside mall and a hookah bar that Ariel raved about. I was shocked that Ariel would smoke hookah. In my eyes, she's a pro athlete who does everything right. Hookah doesn't seem right for her to do, but her favorite flavor is mango. So, we sat on the floor, ate hummus and smoked mango flavored tobacco. I've never experienced a nicotine buzz, and it was different. Ariel is fantastic. She's 18 but acts much older. She's brilliant and able to party. She told me about the time she drank way too much and got sick. What? I never thought Ariel would do that. She has the same sense of humor as Jason and I.
By the end of Sunday, actually by the end of Thursday, I was ready to come home. We left around 10am Monday morning and arrived home by 11pm. Georgia was fun but home is better.

AMAZING POT BROWNIE RECIPE !!!

Haha, just kidding.
I was just trying to get your attention. Sorry to all those stoners who googled "pot brownie recipe", this is just a blog. An awesome blog.
Moving on. Finals are all over! The math final was today at 8 .a.m (gross). I think I did pretty decent on it. I understood everything on it and answered every question. I turned in my English 310 portfolio which is actually due tomorrow. My Visual Culture paper is due May 1st. The paper is about drag queens! I already finished it. Awesome.

I'm still trying to finish my script. I haven't had enough time to really finish it. I mean the thing is finished, but there's plenty of grammar errors yet to be fixed. I wanted it done by the end of April, but that won't happen. I checked the dates of the contests and I have until June1st for both to still pay $50. My Wednesday nights will be free now, so I 'll have time.

I'm registered for one spring class. I just can't do anymore. Spring and summer classes just don't side like fun. Fall classes are all set too. So far, I'm only taking four classes. Five classes might be too much for me. I want to do more but, I'm worried about the homework load. I have one class on Mondays and Wednesdays and three on Tuesdays and Thursday. Those will be long days starting at 9:55 a.m.to 2:20 p.m. then work from 4-10. A Wednesday night class wouldn't be too bad, since it would only be once a week.

I'm so excited for my intro to screen studies class!

Before the spring class begins, my family and I will be traveling to Atlants Georgia. I'm not to psyched about.

For all those stoners who actually read my blog, here's a link to a  pot brownie recipe. Found it through google, never made them before.

Workin' it.

I'm working out all the kinks in every area of my school life right now.
I'm almost finished with this semester. I'm looking up classes for spring and fall. I'm considering graduating with no minor. I think I want to do an intership to have better job options without a minor. I don't think I need a minor to graduate. If this is true, I only need like 15 more classes to graduate which can be done in a year. How awesome would that be? However, I would feel like a slacker. People would say "Congrats! But what the hell are you going to with an English degree and NO MINOR?" My brother graduated with a degree in chemistry and no minor. Or was it biology? Anywho, he didn't have a minor and still found a job. But chemistry is little better than English.
I need to speak with a couselor.
Next week, I'm submitting the screenplay!

.........

Most awkward day of class ever.
Watched a movie with a pretty explicit sex scene involving two women. Yikes.
I mean wow. The teacher couldn't remember if there was a sex scene or not, but she did give us a little warning. I'm really happy that the old lady (like 70-75 years old) dropped the class.  She used to sit right next to me.

This is getting a little old.

I keep reading my screenplay over and over again. I keep finding mistakes and making new ones because I keep adding stuff. Hopefully in about two weeks I will be finished with this and ready to send it away!

Other than that, life is good. School is getting more and more hectic as the semester comes to an end. I should be finished April 27th, with a paper due on May 1st by noon on CTOOLS. On April 28th I will be traveling to Atlanta Georgia for my cousin's high school graduation party. She will be attending Brown on a tennis scholoarship. Lucky girl has a full ride at an awesome college.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm beat. Happy Easter.

A little worried

I'm having some concerns over Life rights, I think that's the correct term. Since the story is about my life and some of the characters share similarities with people I know that could present a problem. I've changed all the names and some of their physical features. Many parts of the movie are also untrue in order to make it more interesting. I submitted a question to Final Draft asking about my problem, but they couldn't provide me with any advice because they were unsure of  my situation and I should ask an attorney. I don't think it's a problem since I'm not going to place  "based on a true story" on the title page since everything is not completely true.
I need to figure all this out, hopefully without having to consult legal help.

Almost there.....

Today I submitted the screenplay for the copyright at wgawregistry.org (Writers Guild of America West). It was actually quite simple actually. There was a button that said REGISTER ONLINE and I clicked it. Paid 20 bucks for it and it lasts for five years, but it was the cheapest and easiest way. Now, all I need to do is start submitting the screenplay to the contests.After Eric reads over it to catch any mistakes I missed.
I have made a top 4 list of the competitions I want to enter. I'm going to pick 2, most likely to the 2 cheapest.
Here is my top 4:

Script P.I.M.P
Deadline May 1st.
Four Grand Prizes $3,500 each plus $250 airfare voucher and 3 night hotel stay in LA for an awards ceremony and script circulation to 200+ companies.
20 finalist $200 each plus $250 airfare voucher and 3 night hotel stay in LA for an awards ceremony and script circulation to 200+ companies.
Plus a ton of door prizes (weird)
$50 entry fee

American Screenwriting Competition
Deadline April 30th
Grand Prize $11,000 plus $1,000 in software. Second prize $2,000. Third prize $1,000. Cash prizes up to 10th place!
$65 entry fee

Creative World Awards (CWA)
Deadline May 31st
Grand Prize $5,000 plus prize package
$60 entry fee

Big Break (A Final Draft, Inc. contest)
Deadline June 1st
Grand Prize $15,000 plus prizes and 3 night hotel stay to meet with producer Marvin V. Acuna and others. Second place is same as first except $4,000 prize money.
$50 entry fee

So, after writing this and reading over the websites I'm pretty sure I will be entering Script P.I.M.P and Big Break, Final Draft Inc, contest.

Finished!

I finished editing my script! It's now 104 pages long and that's plenty long for me. Maybe I will add more to it later, but for now, I think it's pretty good. I'm happy Eric doesn't mind sitting around all day, both on our laptops typing away. I think it's our favorite past time.
I also mailed in my tax stuff today, but it won't be here in time to help with entry fees. I have enough in the bank to afford at least two fees. I'm not saying all I have in the bank is a 100 bones, just 100 dollars worth of extra spending money after bills and such.
Now, I just need to send it away for the copyright. Since I have the best boyfriend in the world, he's looking up how to do that tonight. We might be able to do it electronically. I believe there's also a fee for that. That's why I have credit cards!! All college students are in debt.
If I put as much time in my school work as I have on this screenplay I would have a 4.0. I think have like a 3.3 (math classes) which is fine with me.
By the way the title is The Jawbreaker Story.

This is tedious......

I'm trying to correct all the grammar and puncutation mistakes of my screenplay. When I say or type "my screenplay" I feel like a douche. Please keep in mind that I don't feel like I'm the best thing since sliced bread because of what I've written. I don't think I'm the best and I feel like it's not the best. It's a first.
Anyway, I'm on page 16 of 100 pages of corrections. Gross. I don't want it to feel like homework because I set a deadline. I want to get this done.

By the way, Kevin Smith was amazing.....again.

Contests. Writing contests.

So, I've decided to put a rush on finishing my screenplay in order to enter at least two contests. I will also need to copyright them and entry fee money. I will also put a rush on my tax returns now and use that money for the contests. I don't have high hopes of winning, but it's just cool to do something like this. This means I probably won't reach a 120 pages, more like 105-110. I still have scenes I want add. One contest says 80 pages is an acceptable amount for a feature film, and most companies prefer short screenplays as they are more economical and will have more show times.
Most of the contest deadlines are write around the corner. Well, the late entry deadlines which means more money for the entry fee. But I'm going to try my hardest to finish this. It's important and personal to me. I think I can do it.

Controversial!!!

When I signed up for my Visual Culture class I was expecting an interesting easy 'A' class. Well, not so much on the easy part. A lot of terms are confusing and difficult for me to put into layman terms for my own personal notes. I earned a 'B' on the first paper, so I guess I do understand a bit.
Anywho, we cover topics that range from white supremacy to sexuality (homosexual and heterosexual). The topics sometimes make me a little uncomfortable. We look at different images and decipher what they actual mean and the impact they made on our culture among others.
The subject matter for today was Madonna. We read an essay that showed how she might possibly be a racist white supremacist. Yikes!! I'm still undecided. We focused on 80s and 90s Madonna. I think now she's adopted a little boy from Africa. Anyway she burned crosses in her Like a Prayer video, which people thought was against the church but it's also a very memorable/horrible statement made by the KKK. So which is it? There is other evidence but that was a big one. We even watched the video.
I just wanted to share my crazy class story for today.
Have a good night. Sleep tight.

Embarrassing Promise

As much as I would find this embarrassing, I want to put up a synopsis or query of my script. I need to get over this embarrassment, suck it up and put it out there! I want to finish it ASAP. After writing about it I felt inspired to write more and finish it. I think writing a synopsis will give me a little more inspiration.

Yep, I'm that person......

I wrote a script. Yep. Who doesn't want to write their own movie and win an Oscar for best original screenplay? Matt Damon and Ben Affleck did it. How hard can it be? Well, Damon did attend Harvard  and both already had agents, actual acting jobs and connections such as Kevin Smith who was famous at the time for Clerks and Chasing Amy....Sylvester Stallone won for Rocky, but he had already done porn (hahaha).
Anyway, I wrote about true events in my life. Focused around the time my friend Tami died, so it has some drama. It's funny too, with jokes people wouldn't believe I wrote. Not everything is true, but I had to make it more interesting.
I'm proud at the amount I've written. It's taken awhile to get this far. I'm at 100 pages. I believe the average script is 115-120 pages. So, only 20 more to go! Eric printed it out and it's so thick.
Now, I'm not expecting to be discovered, but how AMAZING would that be? I guess when I finish it, after many many drafts, and it looked professional, I would send it to an agent. I could also write a letter query to send out.
All in all, I just needed away to express the feelings I felt during a sad and difficult part of my life. Now, I want to finish it.
Here are some pictures of me holding my Oscar winning script! 

A new to do list:

Finish script!!!! (This may take awhile with school being hectic)

Workout

Mail tax forms (I think this was on the other list....oops)

Sign up for summer classes

Nope

Have you ever felt like someone was trying to out-do you in every aspect of your life? Yeah, me too. Well, it's not going happen. Nuff said. 

Update

Remember that to do list I posted on my first blog? Well...it's almost complete!
I filled out the change of major form and will be turning it in today! I need 15 more classes for my major/prereqs, including another stupid math class, but I hear it's an easy class. I will aslo need to brush up on my poor French skills because I need two language courses. Now, I'm having trouble finding a nice specific list of the courses for a minor in communications focusing on journalism and screen studies (JASS). I have a list of classes needed for a major in JASS, so I think I can pick and choose from that. Maybe? Everywhere I look it says I need 15 hours of upper level courses for a JASS minor, but a minor is 24 hours, right? So 9 hours in lower level courses I'm assuming. I keep confusing myself! I think I will need like 23 more classes, which is actually a lot less compared to what I needed for my teaching degree. 23 classes is something I should be able to do in two years with summer classes. It seems like a lot when you only take 4 classes in the fall and 4 in the winter, but maybe I will take 5 classes each semester. I just need to stay focused and not look at 23 as a bad number.
I can do this!

Beginning of my Self Portait paper

I thought it was pretty good and I wanted to share!

With my brother on one arm and my aunt on the other, they slowly walked with me into her hospital room. Tears clouded my vision as we got closer and closer to the open door. Standing directly in front of the door, my body begins to shake, my knees weaken and tears stream down my face. My aunt and brother hold me as I push forward. “You don’t have to do this,” my aunt says. I ignore her worried voice and walk into the room to see my best friend’s lifeless body lay in bed. My body gives. My knees buckle and I begin to fall but my family holds me together. Tubes run through her body; the one in her mouth has chipped her front tooth. A simple procedure went wrong. She’s in a coma.

Pretentious Bitch

Why must people feel the need to laugh at a person while they are standing in front of the whole class giving a presentation? It seems like everytime I open my mouth to give my opinion someone laughs at me. So, I choose not to speak in most if not all of my classes unless I am forced to, like on Thursday.

It was a group presentation in my Visual Culture class, which is actually a pretty difficult class to follow. Luckily there aren't any real tests just three papers each 6 pages long and one presentation. Well mine was the other day. I and my group members were nervous. I was the last person to speak and I had note cards. We gave the class questions to answer which started a great discussion about the documentary we were presenting. The documentary was so odd. You can buy it for 400 dollars its called Reassemblage. Anyway, at one point I gave my well thought opinion about what the documentary was about and a woman let out a hardy laugh and so did some guy in a stupid hat and skinny jeans. The woman is pretentious and likes to hear herself speak. She's a graduate, how fancy. No one else in the class found it comical or silly. Maybe I need to develop a thick skin OR maybe I should have told her to fuck off when class was over. I don't usually curse but I was livid and still am. Something like this has happened in almost all of my classes.


Not to sound self-centered, but I like to think people feel threatened by me when things like this happen. I'm smart, diligent, pretty, fashionable, and I look different. I'm not the All American type. Maybe people just don't get me and those who do are just as different as I am.

Major Change

So, this is my first blog and I probably won't update it everyday but I will do my best to post something at least once a week. I'm starting this blog in the hopes that it will keep me on track and focused. If I post the things I need to do, people I know will read it and expect me to follow through. I don't want to embarrass myself, so I MUST do them.

Lately, well for the past year and half, I've been struggling with my major. I'm currently in the School of Ed. with a double major of English and Special Ed. I do NOT want to be a teacher anymore. I like kids but teaching them does not sound appealing anymore. The schools around here are pretty horrible. There's no funding. The students seem to be getting worse. The schools are poor, and the teachers are poor as well. You don't become a teacher for the money, and I'm realizing that I would like to make an above average income. Who doesn't? I want to be able to support myself. I don't need a man! (Eric, I think you're great!)

I spoke with a new counselor today about keeping my English major and finding a new minor. I will be in school for a little longer but it will be worth it in the long run. I don't want to be stuck at a cruddy job that I hate. I'm considering communications as my minor in the areas of screen studies and  journalism. I have all the forms needed for a change of major, so hopefully I will turn those in by the end of this week or early next week. I'm not exactly sure how much longer I will be in school yet; I will figure all that out when I get a list of requirements for my minor.I already have most of my English credits! I want to take summer classes and take 15 credit hours a semester. I want to be done. I hate school at the moment. I've never hated school this much. Hopefully this change will help me like school more. I used to love it. I should have changed it sooner, but I didn't want to let my parents down. They seemed so proud of me, but I realized they will be proud as long as I graduate. They want me to be successful and happy.

People always ask me "what can you do with an English major?" Well, my counselor gave me a list of career options that I will hand out the next time someone asks. Please stop asking me that, I don't want to make a ton of copies and kill trees.

To do list:
Fill out change of major form
Submit form
Find list of requirements for minor
Figure out possible spring classes
Figure out how long it will take me to graduate (I hope it takes less than two years)
Update bloggity blog