It's sad these things still bother me.
I went to a Catholic K-8 school. The class sizes were small with about 40 in my graduating 8th grade class. Everybody knew everybody. I could probably still name everyone in my class. I don't really speak to them, except for Michele. I was supposed to be in her wedding, but she canceled it after everyone bought the 140 dollar bridesmaid dresses and gifts for the bridal shower. I am friends with just about all the other students online, minus those who do not have a Facebook. Occasionally I will seek out their profiles to see what everyone is up to, but the unhappy memories of being a pudgy, frizzy haired, brace face flood back into my brain. Catholics love to judge, even the young ones.
When you reach 7th grade at St. Robert's the school splits the students up based on how well they do on a math test. Since I've never been good at math I was put into 7-2s and 8-2s. Which made me feel stupid. The smart boys and girls looked at us differently. You could tell they felt smarter. The teachers favored those students who made great grades and whose parents actively participated in everything at school. My parents are on the older side and never really helped out much at the school.
I partially blame my parents for not fitting in as much as I could have. They never really pushed me to join any sports. I think parents should put their children in sports to see if they like it. If they don't then drop it. I was in girl scouts, but even then I felt awkward and out of place. I should have happy memories of scouts but the one that stick out the most is a little sad. We had to sell cookies, lots and lots of cookies. Most parents sold the cookies for their daughters by taking the order forms to work. Not my parents. I usually sold under ten boxes. One mother came up to me, mind you I was like 8 or 9, and scorned me for not selling to other people outside my family. This woman was truly disappointed in my lack of sales for a 9 year old. Why would a woman do that to a kid that's not even related to her? It's great that she was able to sell 100 boxes of thin mints so her daughter could win a two dollar plastic toy.
The kids were just as bad as the parents. In whatever grade it is us Catholics get confirmed we HAD to participate in a 2 day retreat at some giant church that had bowling lanes in the basement! Of course I only remember the bowling lanes because that's the only place I had fun. I also remember spending about an hour or so in a tiny warm room with sky blue walls, vomit green carpet and no windows staring at a floor to ceiling crucified Jesus. I believe kids started to cry. Whether they were overcome with emotion or they just wanted to leave I do not know. One night, all of use got to hang around and not talk about religion. I was sitting with some 'popular' girls, my best friend was not catholic so she did not attend this eye-opening experience, and one of the 'popular' boys came over. He wrapped his arms around the girl I was chatting with and said "she's my friend. I like her more than I like you. You're not my friend." A little harsh right? I didn't know what to do so I sat there while he went on and on about his love for this girl and dislike for me. What a jackass. A jackass who is my friend on Facebook.
I was so happy to leave that school behind me, but the memories are still front and center.
